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Original: 10/31/2009 12:21 AM
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Saturday, October 31, 2009

 I'm rehashing an old entry I wrote back in June, regarding cancer... and how much it sucks...

 ******
I sometimes find myself questioning God's existence but at the same time praying...

Ever heard of the story of Job? The devil goes to God and tells him, man only worships you because everything is good. God said, "nuh-uh". So God and the devil makes a little bet and they bet everything on a man named Job.

God then turns Job's life into shit. Taking away his wealth, killing his family, and then making him sick. All the while, Job never lost his faith. "The good Lord giveth, the good Lord taketh..." or some shit.

So God was basically all, "In your face BYTCH" to the devil.

Here's the kicker... and this isn't in the Book of Job...

So Job, after all is said and done, and he's in the kingdom of God, asks Him, "Why Lord... Why me?"

"Well Job" God answers, "There's just something about you that pisses me off..."

Sometimes I think... there is no devil... just God when he's drunk.

As negative as that sounds, I wondered if there was another meaning to this.

The good Lord gives, and the good Lord takes.

Life is fleeting and for that moment, it's times like this that we should slow down and REALLY appreciate what we have, who we have, for the short time that they're allowed with us. I always thought I had forever but I know realistically that's not right. Death is apart of the life cycle.... and as painful as it may be, it reminds us that we should cherish what little time we have.

When I was little, an hour seemed long and a year seemed like forever. As I'm much older now, time progresses much faster and a year can feels very similar to my childhood hours.
*********

I wrote this in regards for my aunt who was going through cancer. She passed away today... er yesterday. I still can't believe it... Life really is too short... so we have to make best with what little time we have.

Today, I watched water boil. My aunt used to tell me if I tried to watch water boil, it wouldn't. I just kept staring into the pot, watching lines form along the bottom of the pot, until bubbles began to rise rapidly.

I keep telling myself I shouldn't be sad and that she's in a better place now and her suffering has ended. I keep telling myself that... but I can't help but be sad...



 Posted 10/31/2009 12:21 AM - 22 Views - 8 eProps - 4 comments

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4 Comments

Visit ch0w's Xanga Site!
life is short, indeed.
Posted 10/31/2009 1:13 AM by online now ch0w Xanga True Member Xanga Premium Member - reply

Visit yang1815's Xanga Site!
May she forever rest in peace in heaven.
Posted 10/31/2009 9:22 AM by yang1815 Xanga Lifetime Member - reply

Visit BumbleBoTuna's Xanga Site!
cherish the moments you have.
Posted 10/31/2009 9:36 AM by BumbleBoTuna - reply

Visit Kyoon's Xanga Site!
hey chris. i like your entry... i dont get into theological convos alot but it makes you wonder why god created cancer. Cancer blows. sigh

My aunt also just passed away on 10/31 of cancer... its tough... bc after a while you know there is nothing that you can do to help.

i'm sorry for your loss and i hope the rest of your family is doing well.

carpedium right?
Posted 11/4/2009 10:45 AM by Kyoon - reply


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